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Dear Ava
WSJ bestselling author Ilsa Madden-Mills delivers a gripping enemies-to-lovers, secret admirer, high school romance.
The rich and popular Sharks rule at prestigious, ivy-covered Camden Prep. Once upon a time, I wanted to be part of their world--until they destroyed me.
The last thing I expected was an anonymous love letter from one of them.
Please. I hate every one of those rich jerks for what they did to me. The question is, which Shark is my secret admirer?
Knox, the scarred quarterback.
Dane, his twin brother.
Or Chance, the ex who dumped me. . .
Dear Ava,
Your eyes are the color of the Caribbean Sea.
Wait. That's stupid.
What I really mean is, you look at me and I feel something REAL.
It's been ten months since you were here, but I can't forget you.
I've missed seeing you walk down the hall.
I've missed you cheering at my football games.
I've missed the smell of your hair.
And then everything fell apart the night of the kegger.
Don't hate me because I'm a Shark.
I just want to make you mine.
Still.
Mature Content. Recommended for 18+.
A short excerpt of Dear Ava appeared in Team Player 2. (No longer available)
This all-new, full-length version is 376 pages and 100,000 words.
The rich and popular Sharks rule at prestigious, ivy-covered Camden Prep. Once upon a time, I wanted to be part of their world--until they destroyed me.
The last thing I expected was an anonymous love letter from one of them.
Please. I hate every one of those rich jerks for what they did to me. The question is, which Shark is my secret admirer?
Knox, the scarred quarterback.
Dane, his twin brother.
Or Chance, the ex who dumped me. . .
Dear Ava,
Your eyes are the color of the Caribbean Sea.
Wait. That's stupid.
What I really mean is, you look at me and I feel something REAL.
It's been ten months since you were here, but I can't forget you.
I've missed seeing you walk down the hall.
I've missed you cheering at my football games.
I've missed the smell of your hair.
And then everything fell apart the night of the kegger.
Don't hate me because I'm a Shark.
I just want to make you mine.
Still.
Mature Content. Recommended for 18+.
A short excerpt of Dear Ava appeared in Team Player 2. (No longer available)
This all-new, full-length version is 376 pages and 100,000 words.
376 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 1, 2020
About the author
Ilsa Madden-Mills
38 books15.9k followers#1 Amazon Charts, Wall Street Journal, New York Times, and USA Today best-selling author Ilsa Madden-Mills pens angsty new adult and contemporary romances.
A former high school English teacher and librarian, she adores all things Pride and Prejudice, and of course, Mr. Darcy is her ultimate hero.
She's addicted to frothy coffee beverages, cheesy magnets, and any book featuring unicorns and sword-wielding females. Feel free to stalk her online. ☺
★ Sign up for her newsletter and receive insider info about new releases and exclusive giveaways
★ You can stalk her/sign up on the contact page: ilsamaddenmills.com
★ Facebook: Author Ilsa Madden-Mills
★ Join her private reader group on FB: Unicorn Girls
★ Instagram @Ilsamaddenmills
New Book News:
Dear Ava is live!
Not My Romeo is live!
I Promise You drops October 12/20
Not My Match drops January 19/21 (pre-order on Amazon)
A former high school English teacher and librarian, she adores all things Pride and Prejudice, and of course, Mr. Darcy is her ultimate hero.
She's addicted to frothy coffee beverages, cheesy magnets, and any book featuring unicorns and sword-wielding females. Feel free to stalk her online. ☺
★ Sign up for her newsletter and receive insider info about new releases and exclusive giveaways
★ You can stalk her/sign up on the contact page: ilsamaddenmills.com
★ Facebook: Author Ilsa Madden-Mills
★ Join her private reader group on FB: Unicorn Girls
★ Instagram @Ilsamaddenmills
New Book News:
Dear Ava is live!
Not My Romeo is live!
I Promise You drops October 12/20
Not My Match drops January 19/21 (pre-order on Amazon)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 5,371 reviews
September 20, 2022
People have different viewpoints and tastes, so stop criticising me because I trashed your favourite book. I respect those who enjoyed it, but please stop messaging me and telling me to die because I trashed your favourite book. Oh, please.
I know this book is gonna be bad because whenever a author tells us that the female lead is "not like other girls " and the male lead is strong person with broken past a part of my brain die.
Authors should get this thing in their mind that calling your character not like other will not give them depth.
Moving on.
Let's introduce you to the characters :-
Ava a rape survivor, bought up in foster care, whose mother was an addict, brother who suffers from some mental ailment , don't trust anyone, have built walls around her , that's all I guess , you know I really hate when author shoehorn the tragic past elements as a way to sympathize with the character ! I really didn't know who Ava was as a person, what she likes , what she do as hobbies and moreover where she lives!!!
Knox , strong boy with a really really tragic past again, and who is a really bad character but since other characters are worse he looks nice in front of them! But he is still bad !!!
And yes the conversation between them :-
Knox:- hey tulip ( nickname for Ava)
Ava:- don't you dare call me that!
Knox:- okay so Ava...
Ava:- why are you not calling me tulip it's like you are distancing me ??
Knox :- okay tulip
Ava:- I will rip your balls out!
............
Ava :- hey knox you are Mr. Evil and Mr. Cold , but I wanna have sex with you, you might be the one who rapped me but I wanna have sex with you and you definitely treats women as objects but still I wanna have sex with you .
Knox(arches his eyebrows) :- ohhh tulip you are one of the most stupid girl I have ever met but I too wanna have sex with you !
Ava:- don't raise your eyebrows it's hot I wanna lick them( not my words readers , authors words)
Knox :- no wait that's gross!
Ava launches herself to Knox and stars licking his eyebrows.
....................
Ava and Knox one week after their first meeting
Knox:- I am leaving !
Ava:- okay but you know I still want you and you will come to me again and I will not accept you because you know *walls* , but still don't leave me, please I want you , please !
Knox:- lady are you out of your mind ?
.............
Ava and Knox on their 15469897 date
Knox:- it's gonna be fun but Ava please I don't wanna listen your tragic story again!
Ava:- what I am over my tragic past chill!
After eating a whole burger.
Knox:- why are you crying Ava?
Ava:- this food is so tasty you know in foster care I never had such food and my mother hates me .....
Knox:- here she goes again!
So basically that's the whole plot of the book , it was super cliche and horrible !
I recommend it to no one.
April 29, 2021
4.5 - Stars.
Dear Ava is a difficult book. Without skirting around the first chapter opens with the heroine waking up after being drugged and abused at a keg party. And even though there's no description of the abuse on the page, it is tense enough to read about it. And it's a very complicated place for a book to start.
Then we cut to 9 months later, due to many circumstances Ava is going back to the same school where the possible abuser is from. He was never caught, and a lot of victim-blaming happened. But Ava has always had a tough life, and she wants to 1. show that they can't break her and 2. find out who the guy was and get some revenge.
In the midst of this very serious plot, she finds a letter in her locker from a secret admirer. Enter Knox, a brooding quarterback with a huge scar on his face, that despite his scary looks has a tormented but sweet heart.
This book kind of gave me 13 reasons why vibes, in the sense of going under the layers of what can happen in the worst scenarios of high school, and the dangers of parents and teachers turning a blind eye. But, it was very carefully written and ended up being a story of how two broken people can help each other. Knox was the perfect hero, he was kind and respectful and slowly he could let Ava trust another person.
I think it's so hard to have such a serious plot and weave a romance into it but Ilsa Madden-Mills pulled it off, and the overall result was great and the ending made perfect sense. Ava was such a strong heroine, and while I hurt so much for her I was so proud of her bravery.
Beware of trigger warnings if this is a difficult subject for you.
Thank you Social Butterfly PR and Ilsa Madden-Mills for sending me an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
See all my reviews here
Bookstagram
Dear Ava is a difficult book. Without skirting around the first chapter opens with the heroine waking up after being drugged and abused at a keg party. And even though there's no description of the abuse on the page, it is tense enough to read about it. And it's a very complicated place for a book to start.
Then we cut to 9 months later, due to many circumstances Ava is going back to the same school where the possible abuser is from. He was never caught, and a lot of victim-blaming happened. But Ava has always had a tough life, and she wants to 1. show that they can't break her and 2. find out who the guy was and get some revenge.
In the midst of this very serious plot, she finds a letter in her locker from a secret admirer. Enter Knox, a brooding quarterback with a huge scar on his face, that despite his scary looks has a tormented but sweet heart.
This book kind of gave me 13 reasons why vibes, in the sense of going under the layers of what can happen in the worst scenarios of high school, and the dangers of parents and teachers turning a blind eye. But, it was very carefully written and ended up being a story of how two broken people can help each other. Knox was the perfect hero, he was kind and respectful and slowly he could let Ava trust another person.
I think it's so hard to have such a serious plot and weave a romance into it but Ilsa Madden-Mills pulled it off, and the overall result was great and the ending made perfect sense. Ava was such a strong heroine, and while I hurt so much for her I was so proud of her bravery.
Beware of trigger warnings if this is a difficult subject for you.
Thank you Social Butterfly PR and Ilsa Madden-Mills for sending me an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
See all my reviews here
Bookstagram
August 6, 2022
"No matter the road you take, it doesn’t matter if it’s beautiful or ugly, hard or smooth, paved or pitted with ruts—it’s your road to take. What matters is how it ends."
well this surprised the shit outta me.
there were so many emotions i felt while reading this book and honestly, the last time i ever felt this way was when i read Landon & Shay: Part One and First and Forever (Heartache Duet #2).
Ava Harris (h) was (TW) drugged and sexually assaulted by one of the jocks from her school in junior year and comes back in senior year to show everyone who didn't believe her and bullied her that she was strong and unbreakable. Knox Grayson (H) was the school's QB1 and the most popular person in school, who coincidentally is the "leader" of the group of popular kids called the "Sharks" where one of them was the one who sexually assaulted Ava.
although this book had heavy subject matters, this was still so sweet and exceptionally romantic. Ava and Knox's story focuses on second chances, redemption, resilience, and growth. their love for one another was so next level compared to the other books i've read by this author that i was even more suprised by how good this was.
characters :
— Ava (h): she loves star wars, secretly nerdy, one of the most selfless h's i've ever read, is the guardian of her six-year-old brother, and just overall STRONG. i love this girl. although she went through something horrific, her perseverance was so heartwarming to read that i just in awe of her.
— Knox (H): THIS DUDE. i love him. i just- i love him. why? because his words made me swooon . imma give y'all an example:
...
BRUH.
and another one:
again...
BRUH.
ps. I was crying like a baby during this scene.
honestly, reading Knox's character just made me depressed just because guys like him are super-duper rare in real life and i've said this before and i'll say it again: there's plenty of fish in the sea but there's also more trash sooo...
bullying and slut-shaming :
i got so heated when people did not support, did not believe Ava's rape and basically bullied her and calling her hurtful names. reading about Ava's inner monologue when people called her a "slut" when she's a victim of rape really made me feel all the feels, mainly because even though this is fiction, this still happens in real life and it's equally maddening and disheartening.
but when this happens, Ava's perseverance and resilience truly is admirable to me. this type of strong heroines are the ones i absolutely love.
what i disliked (SPOILER) :
this is pretty minor but i just really didn't like the separation and the rushed ending of when they reunited almost 2 freaking years later. im kinda spoiled with these kinds of scenes and i always want more. but yeah, they separated at the end because as Gabriella said in High School Musical:
but to be fair, their reunion was still very sweet and filled with passion. like, i can actually feel their longing for one another in an intense way.
and another thing, what happened to Chance (h's ex who was an asshole but had a redemption arc)? will he get his own book with Camilla (h's dorm neighbor who was also sexually assaulted by the same rapist)? because that would be *chef's kiss*.
_________________________________
again, i cried A LOT here. this book was emotional and really makes you feel EVERYTHING. one thing i look for in any romance novel is the passion and overwhelming emotions of love between the h & H and these were definitely present here.
also, H was the first one who fell for her and pined for her for years. that's definitely plus. though, he did still sleep with OW and the h even caught him three times in the past. i didn't mind this as much because the h didn't feel hurt and she actually made fun of him when she told him. both were also celibate after the assault and after the separation.
even though some might be hesitant to read this since it is based in a high school setting, i still recommend this 100% because it was honestly just so surprisingly good and this is definitely one of my favorites this year.
5 stars
well this surprised the shit outta me.
there were so many emotions i felt while reading this book and honestly, the last time i ever felt this way was when i read Landon & Shay: Part One and First and Forever (Heartache Duet #2).
Ava Harris (h) was (TW) drugged and sexually assaulted by one of the jocks from her school in junior year and comes back in senior year to show everyone who didn't believe her and bullied her that she was strong and unbreakable. Knox Grayson (H) was the school's QB1 and the most popular person in school, who coincidentally is the "leader" of the group of popular kids called the "Sharks" where one of them was the one who sexually assaulted Ava.
although this book had heavy subject matters, this was still so sweet and exceptionally romantic. Ava and Knox's story focuses on second chances, redemption, resilience, and growth. their love for one another was so next level compared to the other books i've read by this author that i was even more suprised by how good this was.
characters :
— Ava (h): she loves star wars, secretly nerdy, one of the most selfless h's i've ever read, is the guardian of her six-year-old brother, and just overall STRONG. i love this girl. although she went through something horrific, her perseverance was so heartwarming to read that i just in awe of her.
— Knox (H): THIS DUDE. i love him. i just- i love him. why? because his words made me swooon . imma give y'all an example:
"I want to know everything about you. What you eat, except for tomatoes. God I hate those, what you dream about, what songs you listen to, what makes you laugh, what makes you happy, how you feel when I fuck you. I want you breathing for me. I want you begging me for more of this. I want you kissing me, just me. I want you, Tulip, you, you, you, you..."
...
BRUH.
and another one:
"You can't go because I won't get over you. I won't ever find someone like you. I won't ever kiss a girl like you. I love you..."
again...
BRUH.
ps. I was crying like a baby during this scene.
honestly, reading Knox's character just made me depressed just because guys like him are super-duper rare in real life and i've said this before and i'll say it again: there's plenty of fish in the sea but there's also more trash sooo...
bullying and slut-shaming :
i got so heated when people did not support, did not believe Ava's rape and basically bullied her and calling her hurtful names. reading about Ava's inner monologue when people called her a "slut" when she's a victim of rape really made me feel all the feels, mainly because even though this is fiction, this still happens in real life and it's equally maddening and disheartening.
but when this happens, Ava's perseverance and resilience truly is admirable to me. this type of strong heroines are the ones i absolutely love.
what i disliked (SPOILER) :
this is pretty minor but i just really didn't like the separation and the rushed ending of when they reunited almost 2 freaking years later. im kinda spoiled with these kinds of scenes and i always want more. but yeah, they separated at the end because as Gabriella said in High School Musical:
but to be fair, their reunion was still very sweet and filled with passion. like, i can actually feel their longing for one another in an intense way.
and another thing, what happened to Chance (h's ex who was an asshole but had a redemption arc)? will he get his own book with Camilla (h's dorm neighbor who was also sexually assaulted by the same rapist)? because that would be *chef's kiss*.
_________________________________
again, i cried A LOT here. this book was emotional and really makes you feel EVERYTHING. one thing i look for in any romance novel is the passion and overwhelming emotions of love between the h & H and these were definitely present here.
also, H was the first one who fell for her and pined for her for years. that's definitely plus. though, he did still sleep with OW and the h even caught him three times in the past. i didn't mind this as much because the h didn't feel hurt and she actually made fun of him when she told him. both were also celibate after the assault and after the separation.
even though some might be hesitant to read this since it is based in a high school setting, i still recommend this 100% because it was honestly just so surprisingly good and this is definitely one of my favorites this year.
5 stars
November 17, 2020
4.5 STARS
10 months ago Eva Harris experienced something terrible at the school bonfire. Now, after disappearing, she is back to finish her final year of high school and show everyone who did not believe her, that she is strong. 💘
Eva never felt like she belonged... studying in a prestigious private school thanks to a scholarship and not because she has a rich family like the other children - and now everyone thinks she lied about that night and they teased and harass her.
Until one day she receives anonymous letters to her locker... from one of the popular guys from the football team... Who sent them? And why?? 💥💥💥
📚 “𝐒𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐫, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭.” 📚
Wow, I was so surprised by this book, it made me feel so many emotions!!!! I do not remember when was the last time I felt like this... 😭❤
I was touched by the special love story, and even though it's about high school kids it was (mostly) mature, passionate and touching. 🔥
And the feeling it made me feel? Wow. I was angry for what Eva had to endure from everyone, because even though it's not a true story, these are things that happen in reality - victims who have to deal with accusations... but Eva's resilience was admirable, she's one of those strong heroine I love to read about.👑
And the hero? I will not elaborate, but I will say that heroes like him are my kryptonite!!! 💘
📚 “𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐠𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮.” 📚
However, I felt that the story was too slow at the beginning and too fast at the end. Also, not all the issues were resolved in my opinion, for example, I was missing the "confrontation". 😬
It's an emotional journey about second chances, redemption and love. The story is heartbreaking... funny... mysterious... sexy - and the cover? Yummy!!!!
Highly recommend! 💘💘💘
• I listened to the AUDIO version. 🎧
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💕 לקריאת הסקירה בעברית, כנסו לבלוג: https://books-romance.com/ 💕
March 18, 2020
4.5 ⭐️
This was a surprise for me. I don't usually, if ever pick up books that are set in high school, but I read a review saying to disregard that aspect because the book is worth it, so here I am now, saying the same.
What did I love about this? A lot of things.. everything?!
From the very beginning I was sucked in. When Ava describes waking from a particularly horrible experience right at the start of the book.. it was a beautifully executed scene regardless of the subject matter. It really put you there and made you want to see her journey going forward.
The writing, pacing , the description of things, emotions, events.. I loved it all.
One thing I noticed about this book is how the characters are pictured very realistically. The fact that these were 17/18 year olds was not disregarded, quite the contrary. We see the MC's worried about the same stuff every other teen does. Being good enough, being loved, thinking of the future with trepidation, trying to figure out how to juggle every conflicting emotion.. No matter the money, the status , the good looks we are ultimately slaves to the same insecurities. I loved how this was portrayed here.
Despite of the obvious youthful way they handled themselves with, the lead characters were also strong and wise beyond their years which was acknowledged and reflected in their actions.
Ava and Knox were such a perfect mix of strong and vulnerable, as individuals but also as a couple. It was a beautiful relationship to read about. Their little interactions, the honesty with which they eventually relate to each other, it really pulls you into the story.
Overall, I'd say I enjoyed this more than I thought I would. Maybe it's because I went into it expecting something different.. I don't know, but it's something I'd recommend if asked.
This was a surprise for me. I don't usually, if ever pick up books that are set in high school, but I read a review saying to disregard that aspect because the book is worth it, so here I am now, saying the same.
What did I love about this? A lot of things.. everything?!
From the very beginning I was sucked in. When Ava describes waking from a particularly horrible experience right at the start of the book.. it was a beautifully executed scene regardless of the subject matter. It really put you there and made you want to see her journey going forward.
The writing, pacing , the description of things, emotions, events.. I loved it all.
One thing I noticed about this book is how the characters are pictured very realistically. The fact that these were 17/18 year olds was not disregarded, quite the contrary. We see the MC's worried about the same stuff every other teen does. Being good enough, being loved, thinking of the future with trepidation, trying to figure out how to juggle every conflicting emotion.. No matter the money, the status , the good looks we are ultimately slaves to the same insecurities. I loved how this was portrayed here.
Despite of the obvious youthful way they handled themselves with, the lead characters were also strong and wise beyond their years which was acknowledged and reflected in their actions.
Ava and Knox were such a perfect mix of strong and vulnerable, as individuals but also as a couple. It was a beautiful relationship to read about. Their little interactions, the honesty with which they eventually relate to each other, it really pulls you into the story.
Overall, I'd say I enjoyed this more than I thought I would. Maybe it's because I went into it expecting something different.. I don't know, but it's something I'd recommend if asked.
January 18, 2023
Are you srsly telling me that the guy on the cover is 18 yrs old??
Anyway, bleach. Where’s the bleach??
The dialogue and writing was so cringe it’s fucking hilarious. There was this scene where the guy made such a dead joke and the other guy goes “Good one, bro.” and the MMC shrugs and says “I have my moments.” like no stfu and sit down little boy. It felt like they were actually 12 instead of 18.
I skimmed the last 40%
This was such a disappointment.
Anyway, bleach. Where’s the bleach??
The dialogue and writing was so cringe it’s fucking hilarious. There was this scene where the guy made such a dead joke and the other guy goes “Good one, bro.” and the MMC shrugs and says “I have my moments.” like no stfu and sit down little boy. It felt like they were actually 12 instead of 18.
I skimmed the last 40%
This was such a disappointment.
May 24, 2020
First off, I was hesitant picking up this book. Mainly because of the cover. This didn't look like a high school new adult to me, so I was surprised when I picked it up and found out that it was. Ava is our main character and this book starts out with her waking up in the woods after being sexually assaulted at a party. A lot of this book has to do with Ava dealing with stigma from her peers over this event and uncovering who was the one who possibly drugged her and then assaulted her. Please know that this is a huge part of the storyline.
Immediately when we meet Knox, I absolutely loved his character. He's always had a soft spot for Ava and this isn't a high school bully romance. Knox is actually very protective of Ava and so sweet when it comes to her. I really enjoyed how he was actually a nice guy and tried to be there for Ava when she needed him, even when she thought she didn't. What I also loved about this book was how it was about so much more than just the romance. Ava was trying to remember what happened that night and figure out how to support her special needs brother with no parents. Then Knox is trying to help Ava while making sure his brother was okay. I really loved the relationship between Knox and his brother and how much Knox tried to be there for him too.
The ending of this book was surprising and I appreciated how different it was from other high school new adult books. Ava needed time. And that's what she got. Overall, this book was just so good and I could not put it down. I loved the romance, the family dynamics, and the journey all of the characters took.
Immediately when we meet Knox, I absolutely loved his character. He's always had a soft spot for Ava and this isn't a high school bully romance. Knox is actually very protective of Ava and so sweet when it comes to her. I really enjoyed how he was actually a nice guy and tried to be there for Ava when she needed him, even when she thought she didn't. What I also loved about this book was how it was about so much more than just the romance. Ava was trying to remember what happened that night and figure out how to support her special needs brother with no parents. Then Knox is trying to help Ava while making sure his brother was okay. I really loved the relationship between Knox and his brother and how much Knox tried to be there for him too.
The ending of this book was surprising and I appreciated how different it was from other high school new adult books. Ava needed time. And that's what she got. Overall, this book was just so good and I could not put it down. I loved the romance, the family dynamics, and the journey all of the characters took.
November 19, 2020
4.5 stars
Not only was this enemies to lovers, but it had the rich guy/poor girl troupe. Ava is poor, but she has worked hard to get a scholarship to an affluent prep school. The football team, The Sharks, rule the school. Knox is a Shark. So is the guy that assaulted her the year before. She’s not sure who assaulted her, but hates them all on principle.
I loved Knox so much. He was sweet and the best guy/brother. He was the best. I also loved Ava. I love strong and resilient heroines. She was also amazing with her brother. The familial elements to this one were great. The romance was beautiful and the ending put a big smile on my face. Overall I loved this one! Highly recommend.
“No matter the road you take, it doesn’t matter if it’s beautiful or ugly, hard or smooth, paved or pitted with ruts—it’s your road to take. What matters is how it ends.”This is my second Isla Madden Mills book and I loved it so much! If you’re looking for a NA romance that has a great enemies to lovers aspect with a strong heroine and a grumpy but soft hero, this is the book for you!
Not only was this enemies to lovers, but it had the rich guy/poor girl troupe. Ava is poor, but she has worked hard to get a scholarship to an affluent prep school. The football team, The Sharks, rule the school. Knox is a Shark. So is the guy that assaulted her the year before. She’s not sure who assaulted her, but hates them all on principle.
I loved Knox so much. He was sweet and the best guy/brother. He was the best. I also loved Ava. I love strong and resilient heroines. She was also amazing with her brother. The familial elements to this one were great. The romance was beautiful and the ending put a big smile on my face. Overall I loved this one! Highly recommend.
Audio book source: Audible (purchased)
Story Rating: 4 stars
Narrators: Savannah Peachwood and Zachary Webber
Narration Rating: 5 stars
Genre: Romance
Length: 10 hours and 3 minutes
May 12, 2022
4.75 ⭐️ pls stop. this was so good sos. I couldn’t stop reading.. goodbye sleep schedule! Ava & Knox deserve everything good in this world. Their love was so pure and genuine!!! This story was way deeper than I expected, I wasn’t ready for all the turns it took. But I loved every second.
“I love you till the end of time. I never stopped. I never gave up. You’re my destiny. I’m yours. The universe fucking owes me, you feel me?”
“I love you till the end of time. I never stopped. I never gave up. You’re my destiny. I’m yours. The universe fucking owes me, you feel me?”
January 3, 2021
So......... Things happened
I saw the cover model
1.I Googled him real quick
2.Found him on IG
3.Now I am hisstalker follower
I do not have much to say to express the excellence of this book
Except
✨From now on this will be my go-to book when I will need courage and strength to face the music. ✨
🌷Ava Tulip Harris meets Lee Knox Grayson 🌷
People from different upbringing,
Different Society
Different Privilege and Treatment
But perfectly similar from heart
Ava Tulip Harris (h) is independent and strong young girl.
She had been abandoned by her mother when she was 12 and her father was out of the picture even before she was born.
Even before she became a teenager she had to fight alone.
The only person she had was herself
On the other hand, there is Knox Grayson perfectly privileged, rich dad, good looks, captain of the football team, worshiping girls at his feet. Group of hot friends, fame, perfectly smooth way ahead.
But is it actually perfect?
Camden Prep is the high school or the place of Ava's way out or she thought it would be. Only thing she wanted was to bend in, to find a solid place but one event and her life, her plan went down the hills.
Two perfectly different Souls
Perfectly imperfect persons
Their journey of finding truth, fighting off the demons.
Will they find their happily ever after?
What I like most about this book is that both of them are just eighteen years olds but yet their maturity level is higher than some of thirty plus-year-olds out there
Both of them took care of their families remain loyal to their friends and sort out their priorities.
For me what makes Knox standout is his yearning for Ava.
Under his cold demeanor, his selfless behavior and kindness is so exhilarating.
The way he stayed loyal to his best friend and then took care of Ava was mind-blowingly good
It's the little things that matter the most. I think I am yet again reminded once again why highschool set up sports romance is one of my top favorite genres.
Highschool Because you get to witness how beautifully two young people shape and build their lives around each other starting from zero and grow as an Adult
Sports Romance because underneath the big bad wolf there is a big softie teddy bear 🥺. They are so hard to crack because they are disciplined and Headstrong.
But with Right pampering, caring those big jocks is all yours
Last but no the least Ava Tulip your powerful personality will always inspire me 🥺 I am so glad I get to know you Ava. I am so so glad. I loved playing Ava ✨
Knox Grayson, more than your perfections It's the imperfections that make you so beautiful ✨
I couldn’t help but fall for you.
You have such a beautiful mind and way with your words.
Throughout the book, I had been looking forward to getting a sneak peek at your
mind. 🌠
So this was my first book of Ilsa Madden-Mills and pretty sure I am not going anywhere 🌠
I already have two of her books on my top tbr and I can't wait to read them 🥺
At the same time, I am so grateful this is the first book I chose for 2021 🌠
It's a pure win-win
I had a great time
I highly recommend this one
Happy Reading 💌🌷💌
I saw the cover model
1.I Googled him real quick
2.Found him on IG
3.Now I am his
💌🌷 The Review🌷💌
"Sometimes the loneliest place on earth is in the midst of a crowd."
I do not have much to say to express the excellence of this book
Except
✨From now on this will be my go-to book when I will need courage and strength to face the music. ✨
“Hades was lonely in hell. It’s a dark, isolated place. She symbolizes light and good. Opposites attract. Why can’t a devil want an angel? They were in love. Happy.”
🌷Ava Tulip Harris meets Lee Knox Grayson 🌷
People from different upbringing,
Different Society
Different Privilege and Treatment
But perfectly similar from heart
“Keep moving, QB1.
Nothing to see here but a girl who knows how to change a tire.
Quite fascinating for you, I’m sure.”
Ava Tulip Harris (h) is independent and strong young girl.
She had been abandoned by her mother when she was 12 and her father was out of the picture even before she was born.
Even before she became a teenager she had to fight alone.
The only person she had was herself
And when she smiles, it makes you feel like the king of the world.
On the other hand, there is Knox Grayson perfectly privileged, rich dad, good looks, captain of the football team, worshiping girls at his feet. Group of hot friends, fame, perfectly smooth way ahead.
But is it actually perfect?
He grunts. “Really? No one wanted them to be together.
None of the gods approved. Who’d love the king of the underworld?” “The right person.”
Camden Prep is the high school or the place of Ava's way out or she thought it would be. Only thing she wanted was to bend in, to find a solid place but one event and her life, her plan went down the hills.
“Mmmm. When I sat behind you in class, I used to touch it with my pencil, and you never even noticed. You smell like vanilla, do you know that?” I’m afraid to say anything, to stop him.
“Every day I’d get a little braver and barely touch my pencil to your shoulder, your arm. I was afraid to want you,
then hurt you—”
Two perfectly different Souls
Perfectly imperfect persons
Their journey of finding truth, fighting off the demons.
Will they find their happily ever after?
Kissing him is like I’ve spent a day in the sunshine,
and when night comes, the stars will only shine for me
What I like most about this book is that both of them are just eighteen years olds but yet their maturity level is higher than some of thirty plus-year-olds out there
Both of them took care of their families remain loyal to their friends and sort out their priorities.
“You’re shaking,” I say, recalling how he trembled outside Vandy.
“I’m scared.”
“Am I the first girl you’ve kissed in a long time like really kissed?” He nods.
“But that isn’t why I’m scared. I’ve always wanted to kiss you, Tulip.”
For me what makes Knox standout is his yearning for Ava.
Under his cold demeanor, his selfless behavior and kindness is so exhilarating.
The way he stayed loyal to his best friend and then took care of Ava was mind-blowingly good
He’s the kind of guy who doesn’t love often,
but once he does, it’s with everything he has.
It's the little things that matter the most. I think I am yet again reminded once again why highschool set up sports romance is one of my top favorite genres.
Highschool Because you get to witness how beautifully two young people shape and build their lives around each other starting from zero and grow as an Adult
Sports Romance because underneath the big bad wolf there is a big softie teddy bear 🥺. They are so hard to crack because they are disciplined and Headstrong.
But with Right pampering, caring those big jocks is all yours
"Wanted to see you before I went to sleep."
Last but no the least Ava Tulip your powerful personality will always inspire me 🥺 I am so glad I get to know you Ava. I am so so glad. I loved playing Ava ✨
Knox Grayson, more than your perfections It's the imperfections that make you so beautiful ✨
I couldn’t help but fall for you.
You have such a beautiful mind and way with your words.
Throughout the book, I had been looking forward to getting a sneak peek at your
mind. 🌠
“Tulip, Tulip, so good, so good, you, you, you, you,” he mumbles and slides all the way out then back in, his shoulders quivering.
“Sweet, so fucking sweet.”
So this was my first book of Ilsa Madden-Mills and pretty sure I am not going anywhere 🌠
I already have two of her books on my top tbr and I can't wait to read them 🥺
At the same time, I am so grateful this is the first book I chose for 2021 🌠
It's a pure win-win
I had a great time
I highly recommend this one
Happy Reading 💌🌷💌
February 28, 2020
MY REVIEW AND OTHERS: can also be found on my blog:
➽ KITTY KATS CRAZY ABOUT BOOKS
DEAR AVA Is a full length stand-alone from enemies to lovers romance novel by Ilsa Madden-Mills
I really enjoyed this one! The beginning took me down a road I wasn’t prepared for, this was such an emotional journey, and it set up this story perfectly, the untouchable 'Shark' players, from Camden Prep who ruled the school and fathers that ruled the town.
Dating one of the Shark players offers Ava a taste of their world when she attends a bonfire but all that ends before it began and once again Ava is left standing on her own.
Ava Harris is one tough cookie, life has been an uphill battle from an addict mother, to living on the streets until she's under the care of the nuns whilst caring for her six year old brother Tyler who has special needs.
Now Ava is attending Camden Prep as a senior on scholarship, she's got one hell of a backbone and goals that no one can take from her. But when everyone at school treats her like a snitch because of something that went down at the bonfire, yet again she's being treated as an outcast.
Throw in an anonymous letter she discovers in her locker, someone whose out to get her, and a new hate/love connection had so many elements which had me glued to my ipad from start to finish.
I loved Ava, so strong and fierce, add in Knox and I was a big ball of mush! These two were perfect for each other!
This author delivered more than a romance, it had all the feels, all the angst, everything us book lovers like to encounter in our books. A tough heroine and a hot hero, what more could we ask for!?! The storyline flowed perfectly, the characters easily became ones that we could all connect with on some level, making this book one I highly recommend.
* Teaser used is off the authors facebook page *
June 25, 2020
5 stars to one of the most beautiful boys I have ever had the pleasure of reading about.
You guys, I hate hugs. Not just hugs, I'm averse to all forms of physical affection but I would hug the hell out of Knox Grayson. You'd have to pry my hands off of him. With a really sharp object. Because I will fight you.
You guys, I hate hugs. Not just hugs, I'm averse to all forms of physical affection but I would hug the hell out of Knox Grayson. You'd have to pry my hands off of him. With a really sharp object. Because I will fight you.
February 3, 2020
5 The Heart Knows When It Sees Its Forever stars!
(ARC provided by Social Butterfly PR)
-Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.-Anais Nin
Ava Harris has had a tough life and has always had to look out for herself. She gets into the prestigious Camden Prep School in Sugarwood, Tennessee on scholarship, and wants to fit in. The Sharks at Camden Prep are rich, popular, and untouchable. They rule the school, and she wants to be part of their world until one of them destroys her.
It's senior year, and Ava figures she has nothing to lose. She'll be living be her own rules now, and Ava 2.0 is fierce. She wants to be independent, get into the college of her dreams, and have the future she deserves. She just has to survive her last year of high school around all the kids who try to intimidate her with their dismissive, superior attitudes. Between her ex who broke her heart, the guy who is out to get her, and the one who writes her anonymous love letters, it's hard to pretend they don't exist with constant reminders everywhere she turns.
Ava is curious to figure out who her secret admirer is. Could it be Knox, the scarred quarterback, Dane, his twin brother, or Chance, the jerk who dumped her? She has no clue who it is, but has serious chemistry with one of the guys. They are complete opposites, and come from different worlds. They share a connection she can't explain, and she finds herself wanting to know him better. The guy in question is fascinated by Ava as well, and desperately wants her to be his. He's tried to fight his growing feelings, but feels consumed by her more each day!
-She’s devastatingly beautiful, although I don’t think she knows it.
-You look at me and I feel something REAL. And that never happens.
-Something twisted and dark that resides in me yearns for him. And I don’t even know when it snuck up on me.
-I want this. Whatever it is.
-He’s the kind of guy who doesn’t love often, but once he does, it’s with everything he has.
Dear Ava by Ilsa Madden-Mills is an emotional standalone, enemies to lovers romance. It's a deep, intriguing, fantastic book that deals with some serious subject matter. It's a dark high school love story full of hot football players, a delicious set of twins, mystery, suspense, angst, humor, and all the feels. I adored this book, and was completely captivated throughout! This story was unlike anything I've read by this author. I am a huge fan of Ilsa's writing and devour anything by her. This story just had a more intense vibe, and really takes you on the heroine's journey. I loved how strong Ava is. She never gives up, and is a fighter. Then there's the guy she chooses to give her heart to. Swoon, swoon, and swoon some more. Om, my heart! He was just everything!!!
***NOW AVAILABLE***
https://amzn.to/2GQvvbL
(ARC provided by Social Butterfly PR)
-Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.-Anais Nin
Ava Harris has had a tough life and has always had to look out for herself. She gets into the prestigious Camden Prep School in Sugarwood, Tennessee on scholarship, and wants to fit in. The Sharks at Camden Prep are rich, popular, and untouchable. They rule the school, and she wants to be part of their world until one of them destroys her.
It's senior year, and Ava figures she has nothing to lose. She'll be living be her own rules now, and Ava 2.0 is fierce. She wants to be independent, get into the college of her dreams, and have the future she deserves. She just has to survive her last year of high school around all the kids who try to intimidate her with their dismissive, superior attitudes. Between her ex who broke her heart, the guy who is out to get her, and the one who writes her anonymous love letters, it's hard to pretend they don't exist with constant reminders everywhere she turns.
Ava is curious to figure out who her secret admirer is. Could it be Knox, the scarred quarterback, Dane, his twin brother, or Chance, the jerk who dumped her? She has no clue who it is, but has serious chemistry with one of the guys. They are complete opposites, and come from different worlds. They share a connection she can't explain, and she finds herself wanting to know him better. The guy in question is fascinated by Ava as well, and desperately wants her to be his. He's tried to fight his growing feelings, but feels consumed by her more each day!
-She’s devastatingly beautiful, although I don’t think she knows it.
-You look at me and I feel something REAL. And that never happens.
-Something twisted and dark that resides in me yearns for him. And I don’t even know when it snuck up on me.
-I want this. Whatever it is.
-He’s the kind of guy who doesn’t love often, but once he does, it’s with everything he has.
Dear Ava by Ilsa Madden-Mills is an emotional standalone, enemies to lovers romance. It's a deep, intriguing, fantastic book that deals with some serious subject matter. It's a dark high school love story full of hot football players, a delicious set of twins, mystery, suspense, angst, humor, and all the feels. I adored this book, and was completely captivated throughout! This story was unlike anything I've read by this author. I am a huge fan of Ilsa's writing and devour anything by her. This story just had a more intense vibe, and really takes you on the heroine's journey. I loved how strong Ava is. She never gives up, and is a fighter. Then there's the guy she chooses to give her heart to. Swoon, swoon, and swoon some more. Om, my heart! He was just everything!!!
***NOW AVAILABLE***
https://amzn.to/2GQvvbL
July 7, 2021
Ten months ago something happened to Ava at a school bonfire.
Now she's finally back at the elite private school near Nashville.
She doesn't really belong there - she's a scholarship girl. She's not one of the millionaire kids. She's an 18 year old semi-orphan living in a home run by nuns.
The kids at school all think she's a snitch for telling the police about what happened at that party. Everybody hates her.
And then she finds a letter ... from one of the football guys. But who? Her ex? One of the hot twins? The new guy?
Whatever - she doesn't have time for romance anyway. She has to concentrate on school. Her dream is it to get into Vanderbilt College and to make a great life for her and her little brother!
══════════════════
I LOVED IT!
Such a beautiful young/new adult highschool dramance!
Our darlings are going through some very sad and heartbreaking and serious issues and the reader just wants to fast forward to when they can all live happily ever after in their new and perfect lives!
But of course Ava has to fight really hard for that happy end. It's not easy being back at that school and it's not easy falling for one of the guys she has hated ever since she stepped foot in this school three years ago.
I loved reading this book!
Ava is amazing! She fights so hard to make a life for Tyler and herself. And now maybe she doesn't have to fight so hard all on her own. But can she trust him? There are still some secrets left to unveil ... let's hope we'll get our happy end! ☺
PS - the cover! YUM!
DEAR AVA was ... a beautiful love story! Starting with this gorgeous cover & all the pretty words inside and the whole cast! Such a heartbreaking & exciting & mysterious & funny & sweet YA/NA dramance! I adored it! Run to your nearest amazon for your own millionaire highschool football star - this one is MINE!
A tiny little thing that I loved - or rather 2 things! PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE BOOK YET - it's very spoilery!!! →
💜
💜
September 30, 2021
So Good!
The following ratings are out of 5:
Narration: 🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧
Romance: 🖤💜🤎💚💛
Heat/Steam: 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Story/Plot: 📙📕📗📘📙
World building: 🌎🌏🌍🌍🌍
Character development: 😍😕🙃☺️🤩
The heroine: Ava Harris (a.k.a Tulip) - Scholarship student at Camden Prep. Ava wakes up in the woods after a bonfire party with a hangover and the realization that she has been brutally raped and left in the woods. She returns to school ten months later for her senior year determined to find out who hurt her.
The Hero(es): Knox Grayson (a.k.a. cold and evil) - Leader of the Sharks, QB1 and rich boy at Camden Prep.
Dane Grayson - Twin brother of Knox and a Shark, they have a special twin relationship.
Chance - another Shark and ex-boyfriend to Ava. He dumped her the night of the bonfire.
The story: Ava wants to find out who raped her and get revenge. She lives in a group home with the sisters of charity. She takes care of her younger brother, Tyler who has special needs. She has returned to Camden Prep because she wants to get into a good college to take care of Tyler and also so she could get Tyler in to the Camden Prep Elementary school which has programs that will help Tyler unlike the public school he attended.
The rich kids at Camden Prep are not happy that Ava returned. She brings with her many bad feelings about what happened at that bonfire party. Many of the students believe she lied about what happened to her and think she is a snitch and much worse. While a few actually believe her and feel guilt and angst about their part in what happened to her.
The narration is terrific! Zachary Webber and Savannah Peachwood do a great job and have the perfect voices for the characters. I love Ilsa Madden-Mills book and this one had all the things I like, It was really a bully romance with some added angst and I loved the relationships in this one. Especially the relationship between Ava and Tyler and the one between Knox and his twin Dane.
Blog|Goodreads|Facebook|Instagram|Twitter|BookBub
The following ratings are out of 5:
Narration: 🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧
Romance: 🖤💜🤎💚💛
Heat/Steam: 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Story/Plot: 📙📕📗📘📙
World building: 🌎🌏🌍🌍🌍
Character development: 😍😕🙃☺️🤩
The heroine: Ava Harris (a.k.a Tulip) - Scholarship student at Camden Prep. Ava wakes up in the woods after a bonfire party with a hangover and the realization that she has been brutally raped and left in the woods. She returns to school ten months later for her senior year determined to find out who hurt her.
The Hero(es): Knox Grayson (a.k.a. cold and evil) - Leader of the Sharks, QB1 and rich boy at Camden Prep.
Dane Grayson - Twin brother of Knox and a Shark, they have a special twin relationship.
Chance - another Shark and ex-boyfriend to Ava. He dumped her the night of the bonfire.
The story: Ava wants to find out who raped her and get revenge. She lives in a group home with the sisters of charity. She takes care of her younger brother, Tyler who has special needs. She has returned to Camden Prep because she wants to get into a good college to take care of Tyler and also so she could get Tyler in to the Camden Prep Elementary school which has programs that will help Tyler unlike the public school he attended.
The rich kids at Camden Prep are not happy that Ava returned. She brings with her many bad feelings about what happened at that bonfire party. Many of the students believe she lied about what happened to her and think she is a snitch and much worse. While a few actually believe her and feel guilt and angst about their part in what happened to her.
The narration is terrific! Zachary Webber and Savannah Peachwood do a great job and have the perfect voices for the characters. I love Ilsa Madden-Mills book and this one had all the things I like, It was really a bully romance with some added angst and I loved the relationships in this one. Especially the relationship between Ava and Tyler and the one between Knox and his twin Dane.
Blog|Goodreads|Facebook|Instagram|Twitter|BookBub
January 3, 2021
Awesome first read from this author! 😍 I'll definitely be checking out more of her work in the future!
December 16, 2022
i’d have never picked this book for myself (not when it started getting all the hype was i ever interested), so Mina you know how much sway you have over me.
about the book, the H was such a dear (one of them soft heroes), but i’d appreciate it if he never wrote a love letter to a girl ever again. i liked the fact that he had pined for the h for quite some time while at the same time i wish he’d been meaner. i feel like the h had no other personality other than being a rape survivor and superficial characteristics that came along with being poor and coming from a broken home. tbh, i didnt like her all that much, and i didnt get why she got all mad at the H (towards the end) when it was him doing all the work to find the guy who raped her.
i suppose the romance was sweet and emotional, but it didnt hit me as hard as it was supposed to?? or as heartbreaking and cry-worthy as it did other readers who loved this book. also, this was promoted as enemies to lovers, but the MCs quit being enemies after like one chapter (?!). :( and when they WERE being one, i didnt know the reason why. overall, this was just average, but i’d recommend it if you enjoy first love stories in high school settings and books like Landon & Shay Duet, Heartache Duet, or Binding 13. the last one is my personal favorite.
this was my 2nd book (that i remember) by this author. is it safe to say her writing is just not for me?? 😬 thank you Mina for the recs. im off reading the other book you recommended.
(read as an audiobook)
about the book, the H was such a dear (one of them soft heroes), but i’d appreciate it if he never wrote a love letter to a girl ever again. i liked the fact that he had pined for the h for quite some time while at the same time i wish he’d been meaner. i feel like the h had no other personality other than being a rape survivor and superficial characteristics that came along with being poor and coming from a broken home. tbh, i didnt like her all that much, and i didnt get why she got all mad at the H (towards the end) when it was him doing all the work to find the guy who raped her.
i suppose the romance was sweet and emotional, but it didnt hit me as hard as it was supposed to?? or as heartbreaking and cry-worthy as it did other readers who loved this book. also, this was promoted as enemies to lovers, but the MCs quit being enemies after like one chapter (?!). :( and when they WERE being one, i didnt know the reason why. overall, this was just average, but i’d recommend it if you enjoy first love stories in high school settings and books like Landon & Shay Duet, Heartache Duet, or Binding 13. the last one is my personal favorite.
this was my 2nd book (that i remember) by this author. is it safe to say her writing is just not for me?? 😬 thank you Mina for the recs. im off reading the other book you recommended.
(read as an audiobook)
Shelved as 'dnf'
May 3, 2020
February 4, 2020
Wow... I really enjoyed this one. Review to come soonish...
4-4,5 stars
4-4,5 stars
September 3, 2021
Ava Tulip Harris is one badass young woman. She's from the wrong side of the tracks but her extremely high IQ gets her into a private prep school on a hardship scholarship.
Unfortunately, she is sexually assaulted at a kegger. Ten months after the assault, she returns to school, determined to find out who raped her - something she can't remember because she suspects she was roofied - and to show that she will not be beaten by this vicious attack. Ava is a fighter: she had learned to fight for her and her young brother's survival while being raised by a drug addicted mother in Tennessee.
To Ava, everyone is a suspect, including head QB, Knox, who bears emotional (and physical) scars of his own. Knox's conflicted feelings for Ava made interesting reading, and I liked the friendship/relationship that developed, over time, between them. Their verbal sparing matches were hilarious. Highly recommended.
Unfortunately, she is sexually assaulted at a kegger. Ten months after the assault, she returns to school, determined to find out who raped her - something she can't remember because she suspects she was roofied - and to show that she will not be beaten by this vicious attack. Ava is a fighter: she had learned to fight for her and her young brother's survival while being raised by a drug addicted mother in Tennessee.
To Ava, everyone is a suspect, including head QB, Knox, who bears emotional (and physical) scars of his own. Knox's conflicted feelings for Ava made interesting reading, and I liked the friendship/relationship that developed, over time, between them. Their verbal sparing matches were hilarious. Highly recommended.
February 2, 2021
Second time reading after a year, but now I've listened to the audiobook.
❤️❤️❤️
So many emotions with this book... I loved how they evolved together and apart.
Again my heart broke and healed with them!
It's still one of my favorites!
🖤 Cold and Evil ❤️ Tulip forever! 💜
Without a shadow of a doubt, one of the best books of this year, probably of my life, and we are only at the beginning.
When I'd read this book, I had never read anything by this author, but I was curious about this one. Many wonderful reviews, and not just from bloggers, but from many different readers.
Ava is a wonderful character!
She is strong, determined, independent, imperfect, passionate, loyal and so complex that she will definitely be with me for a long time.
Knox is no different... he's unbelievably lonely and as broken as her.
They have so much in common, that you spend the whole book wishing to have that kinda of connection that they share.
Everything goes around what happens to her at the beginning of the book, along with their family issues and personal development.
Things are not really a mystery, and you are able to kill the riddles quickly. But the book is not about that, and I couldn't really let go of it not even for a second.
The growing relationship between them and the others, besides their own growth as people, is wonderful to read and you eat each word like a starving person!
This book was too profound, so beautiful and with so many important messages, that I wouldn't know where to start describing it!
I really recommend this book out loud, and for sure, the author will be on my radar from now on!
Simply perfect at the bottom to the top!
BTW... I want a Knox for me!!
February 4, 2020
I absolutely love when you can get lost in a book, with loads of romance on top of it. And the emotions, hard not to love this one. oh yes I fell in love ❤️
August 20, 2022
5 Stars
I’m completely smitten. What a fabulous first-time experience with new-to-me author, Ilsa Madden-Mills.
I’ll admit, I wasn’t sure what to expect going in. Not only is this YA/NA in theme, but the story also opens with a possibly triggering and uncomfortable prologue, depicting seventeen-year-old heroine Ava, as she wakes up alone in the woods after attending a school kegger, scared, confused, and clearly having been sexually assaulted by an unknown classmate. Although her assault was never shown on page, the theme of rape hangs heavy over this story and potential readers should be warned.
When the story kicks off, it’s a year later and wrong-side-of-the-tracks Ava is finally returning to Camden Prep, an elite private school where she holds a scholarship but was so cruelly ostracised from after she spoke up about her assault, with many of her peers (still) calling her a lying bitch and a snitch.
Ava is nothing if not independent, strong-willed and highly resilient, choosing to return to a place where the people have unfairly cast her aside as trashy, deceitful and unworthy of their time. Despite the harsh return welcome, Ava is determined to show these southern elitist assholes that they have not and cannot break her spirit — and hopefully, well she’s at it, she can also break loose some of her more elusive memories of that fateful night, in order to work out exactly which football player from the kegger was her assailant.
Ava refuses to let any of them get to her, but when a love letter is left in her locker on her first day back, she begins to question the motives and attitudes of the people around her, and slowly but surely, she begins to lose her heart to the one boy she thought was the biggest enemy of them all, but whom she misjudged so very greatly.
Honestly, that’s all that can be said without ruining the story and the epically beautiful romance that unfolds within. There were a lot of moving parts to this story, many of which were emotionally exhausting, but I was just so caught up in the wonderful writing and by the engaging plot, that I couldn’t help but fall hard and fast for Ava and her very, very dreamy hero.
I loved every moment of reading Dear Ava and I’m now positively bursting at the seams to read more from this author.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED <3
I’m completely smitten. What a fabulous first-time experience with new-to-me author, Ilsa Madden-Mills.
I’ll admit, I wasn’t sure what to expect going in. Not only is this YA/NA in theme, but the story also opens with a possibly triggering and uncomfortable prologue, depicting seventeen-year-old heroine Ava, as she wakes up alone in the woods after attending a school kegger, scared, confused, and clearly having been sexually assaulted by an unknown classmate. Although her assault was never shown on page, the theme of rape hangs heavy over this story and potential readers should be warned.
When the story kicks off, it’s a year later and wrong-side-of-the-tracks Ava is finally returning to Camden Prep, an elite private school where she holds a scholarship but was so cruelly ostracised from after she spoke up about her assault, with many of her peers (still) calling her a lying bitch and a snitch.
Ava is nothing if not independent, strong-willed and highly resilient, choosing to return to a place where the people have unfairly cast her aside as trashy, deceitful and unworthy of their time. Despite the harsh return welcome, Ava is determined to show these southern elitist assholes that they have not and cannot break her spirit — and hopefully, well she’s at it, she can also break loose some of her more elusive memories of that fateful night, in order to work out exactly which football player from the kegger was her assailant.
Ava refuses to let any of them get to her, but when a love letter is left in her locker on her first day back, she begins to question the motives and attitudes of the people around her, and slowly but surely, she begins to lose her heart to the one boy she thought was the biggest enemy of them all, but whom she misjudged so very greatly.
Honestly, that’s all that can be said without ruining the story and the epically beautiful romance that unfolds within. There were a lot of moving parts to this story, many of which were emotionally exhausting, but I was just so caught up in the wonderful writing and by the engaging plot, that I couldn’t help but fall hard and fast for Ava and her very, very dreamy hero.
I loved every moment of reading Dear Ava and I’m now positively bursting at the seams to read more from this author.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED <3
March 16, 2021
NOW LIVE!
Amazon US * Amazon UK
Dear Ava honestly surprised me with how intense it was. After reading the blurb I was excited to get a bully romance with a secret admirer and was so ready for all that angst. The story was so much more than that though, and it still delivered the angst but also a lot of emotions.
Ava was once the scholarship kid trying to fit in with the rich kids at her school. But that all changed when her desire to be one of them left her drugged and raped and feeling destroyed. Now Ava is back and she's not going to let them destroy her anymore. She's got her game face on and she's determined to walk the halls and stare everyone of them down. And this time she also has someone at her back looking out for her, she just doesn't know who.
Ava had all my admiration with this book and I loved that I got to see how strong she was. She had her reasons for going back to the school even when it seemed like a crazy idea, and I really admired her for it. Knox was the more mysterious character but I loved getting to dig into him and his past and learn all about it. It made the story even more intriguing and added more of a suspenseful feeling to it along with everything else going on that had me captivated.
Overall, this is a great story and I think it will definitely capture the attention of anyone that picks it up. It's not the usual high school bully type of book, the characters were mature, and it read more adult than anything else which I really liked and it made everything feel very realistic.
ARC kindly provided in exchange for an honest review.
Amazon US * Amazon UK
Dear Ava honestly surprised me with how intense it was. After reading the blurb I was excited to get a bully romance with a secret admirer and was so ready for all that angst. The story was so much more than that though, and it still delivered the angst but also a lot of emotions.
Ava was once the scholarship kid trying to fit in with the rich kids at her school. But that all changed when her desire to be one of them left her drugged and raped and feeling destroyed. Now Ava is back and she's not going to let them destroy her anymore. She's got her game face on and she's determined to walk the halls and stare everyone of them down. And this time she also has someone at her back looking out for her, she just doesn't know who.
Ava had all my admiration with this book and I loved that I got to see how strong she was. She had her reasons for going back to the school even when it seemed like a crazy idea, and I really admired her for it. Knox was the more mysterious character but I loved getting to dig into him and his past and learn all about it. It made the story even more intriguing and added more of a suspenseful feeling to it along with everything else going on that had me captivated.
Overall, this is a great story and I think it will definitely capture the attention of anyone that picks it up. It's not the usual high school bully type of book, the characters were mature, and it read more adult than anything else which I really liked and it made everything feel very realistic.
ARC kindly provided in exchange for an honest review.
Read
February 3, 2020WSJ bestselling author Ilsa Madden-Mills delivers an emotional, enemies-to-lovers, secret admirer romance.
BUY TODAY or READ FOR FREE IN KINDLE UNLIMITED: http://bit.ly/DearAvaBook
The rich and popular Sharks rule at prestigious, ivy-covered Camden Prep. Once upon a time, I wanted to be part of their world—until they destroyed me.
The last thing I expected was an anonymous love letter from one of them.
Please. I hate those rich jerks for what they did to me. The question is, which Shark is my secret admirer?
Knox, the scarred quarterback.
Dane, his twin brother.
Or Chance, the guy who dumped me . . .
Dear Ava,
Your eyes are the color of the Caribbean Sea.
Sh*t. That’s stupid.
What I really mean is, you look at me and I feel something REAL.
It’s been ten months since you were here, but I can’t forget you.
I’ve missed seeing you walk down the hall.
I’ve missed you cheering at my football games.
I’ve missed the smell of your hair.
And then everything fell apart that night.
Don’t hate me because I’m a Shark.
I just want to make you mine.
Still.
BUY TODAY or READ FOR FREE IN KINDLE UNLIMITED: http://bit.ly/DearAvaBook
Not part of any other series. Dark high school romance. Mature Content. Recommended for 18+.
BUY TODAY or READ FOR FREE IN KINDLE UNLIMITED: http://bit.ly/DearAvaBook
The rich and popular Sharks rule at prestigious, ivy-covered Camden Prep. Once upon a time, I wanted to be part of their world—until they destroyed me.
The last thing I expected was an anonymous love letter from one of them.
Please. I hate those rich jerks for what they did to me. The question is, which Shark is my secret admirer?
Knox, the scarred quarterback.
Dane, his twin brother.
Or Chance, the guy who dumped me . . .
Dear Ava,
Your eyes are the color of the Caribbean Sea.
Sh*t. That’s stupid.
What I really mean is, you look at me and I feel something REAL.
It’s been ten months since you were here, but I can’t forget you.
I’ve missed seeing you walk down the hall.
I’ve missed you cheering at my football games.
I’ve missed the smell of your hair.
And then everything fell apart that night.
Don’t hate me because I’m a Shark.
I just want to make you mine.
Still.
BUY TODAY or READ FOR FREE IN KINDLE UNLIMITED: http://bit.ly/DearAvaBook
Not part of any other series. Dark high school romance. Mature Content. Recommended for 18+.
August 25, 2022
Dear Ava is such a beautiful story about pain, healing, and the power and perseverance of love. It’s heartbreakingly emotional, but also uplifting, romantic, and truly inspiring. It is so much more than an enemies-to-lovers or secret admirer plot.
Dear Ava is a 6 Star read for me, and Knox and Ava are officially on my “favorite couples of all time” list.
I loved this book with my whole heart.
CW: sexual assault, addiction, suicide, abuse
Ava Harrison is back at Camden Prep after 10 months away, and she’s back with a purpose. Ava has goals to achieve, someone who is counting on her, and a future to work towards. In spite of the tragedy that caused her to leave Camden 10 months ago, Ava won’t let anyone stop her from succeeding now.
Especially not the Sharks.
But when Ava is paired up with Knox Grayson on her first day back, her plans are jostled, and she’s forced to rethink what she thought she knew.
Sweet, strong, sassy Ava. This girl is so fierce. I can’t tell you how many times I was in awe of her strength in this book. The things she’s experienced and the pain she’s endured would be enough to make anyone give up and cower, but Ava doesn’t break. She doesn’t give up. She comes back stronger, somehow with more grace, and she perseveres. Ava Harrison is such an inspiring heroine, and I love everything about her. I even loved her moments of weakness and vulnerability, because it made her that much more real. Her character arc is glorious, and I would gladly read 10 more books about her if I could.
Knox Grayson is such an enigmatic, intriguing, and heartfelt hero. On the surface he seems gruff and hardened, but he is so much more than he appears. I’m a total fool for Knox Grayson. The depth of his character had my heart aching with every layer that was revealed, and I fell so hard for his sexy, broody, complex self.
Despite their different circles, Knox and Ava have quite a bit more in common than they realize. They’ve both known extreme pain, they’ve both experienced loss, they’ve both had to take on immense responsibility at a young age, and they both play their cards close to the chest. They’re so unbelievably GOOD for one another. Their chemistry, the tension, the LOVE. I was so deeply moved by their story. The things they have to go through and overcome to get to one another. The things they do for one another. Dear Ava is a romance of epic proportions, and Ilsa Madden Mills did a brilliant job with it. She made me feel EVERYTHING, and she did it beautifully.
I loved loved loved this story so much. I loved everything about it. It gets 6 stars from me, and my highest recommendation.
*ARC gifted in exchange for a honest review*
Amazon: https://amzn.to/37T4EYl
Amazon Worldwide: http://mybook.to/DearAva
Add DEAR AVA to Goodreads: http://bit.ly/2Z2jwQx
Dear Ava is a 6 Star read for me, and Knox and Ava are officially on my “favorite couples of all time” list.
I loved this book with my whole heart.
CW: sexual assault, addiction, suicide, abuse
Ava Harrison is back at Camden Prep after 10 months away, and she’s back with a purpose. Ava has goals to achieve, someone who is counting on her, and a future to work towards. In spite of the tragedy that caused her to leave Camden 10 months ago, Ava won’t let anyone stop her from succeeding now.
Especially not the Sharks.
But when Ava is paired up with Knox Grayson on her first day back, her plans are jostled, and she’s forced to rethink what she thought she knew.
Sweet, strong, sassy Ava. This girl is so fierce. I can’t tell you how many times I was in awe of her strength in this book. The things she’s experienced and the pain she’s endured would be enough to make anyone give up and cower, but Ava doesn’t break. She doesn’t give up. She comes back stronger, somehow with more grace, and she perseveres. Ava Harrison is such an inspiring heroine, and I love everything about her. I even loved her moments of weakness and vulnerability, because it made her that much more real. Her character arc is glorious, and I would gladly read 10 more books about her if I could.
Knox Grayson is such an enigmatic, intriguing, and heartfelt hero. On the surface he seems gruff and hardened, but he is so much more than he appears. I’m a total fool for Knox Grayson. The depth of his character had my heart aching with every layer that was revealed, and I fell so hard for his sexy, broody, complex self.
Despite their different circles, Knox and Ava have quite a bit more in common than they realize. They’ve both known extreme pain, they’ve both experienced loss, they’ve both had to take on immense responsibility at a young age, and they both play their cards close to the chest. They’re so unbelievably GOOD for one another. Their chemistry, the tension, the LOVE. I was so deeply moved by their story. The things they have to go through and overcome to get to one another. The things they do for one another. Dear Ava is a romance of epic proportions, and Ilsa Madden Mills did a brilliant job with it. She made me feel EVERYTHING, and she did it beautifully.
I loved loved loved this story so much. I loved everything about it. It gets 6 stars from me, and my highest recommendation.
*ARC gifted in exchange for a honest review*
Amazon: https://amzn.to/37T4EYl
Amazon Worldwide: http://mybook.to/DearAva
Add DEAR AVA to Goodreads: http://bit.ly/2Z2jwQx
Read
August 20, 2020DNF at 77%
really liked Knox here but i put it down for too long that
i just dont care to finish it anymore, soz :/
the author’s writing just aint for me, im sure of it now. plus, i think the high school setting played a part to why i didn’t love this—i really don’t want to give up on HS romances but i haven’t got any luck with it😩
anywayss, if i were to finish this it'd prolly be a 3 star read for me since again, it's Ilsa Madden-Mill—no such thing as hit or miss for her books bcs so far they’re kinda bland imo
really liked Knox here but i put it down for too long that
i just dont care to finish it anymore, soz :/
the author’s writing just aint for me, im sure of it now. plus, i think the high school setting played a part to why i didn’t love this—i really don’t want to give up on HS romances but i haven’t got any luck with it😩
anywayss, if i were to finish this it'd prolly be a 3 star read for me since again, it's Ilsa Madden-Mill—no such thing as hit or miss for her books bcs so far they’re kinda bland imo
December 8, 2020
They are both celibate during separation.
I think he is celibate since the “party night” but I am not sure
Although she is not a virgin I wish she had more experience because she saw him with three girls, he feels ashamed when she told him that but she is the one who purposely went to see him with others after the first time, she wasn’t jealous BUT why is that necessary? It’s disgusting that a teenager is having sex with girls without looking at them at school grounds!!!! This shit is not realistic authors please stop that, a guy can play around at a safe place where he is not exposed and neither are the girls. A book about rape disregarding the risks of engage in public sex especially to us women is not very good. Revenge porn/being filmed without consent is a thing and it ruins lives, also what are these high school girls with so low self respect and stream that they have sex with a guy under his “only fuck from beside” shit?! It’s okay for them to have just as much sex and fun doing jt as the guys but why the women are always the ones accepting the guys conditions during sex? It’s degrading to high school girls and to women in general. So the hero doesn’t want them looking at him and that’s okay because he is troubled? This is not casual sex, this is treating a women as a brainless hole for him to enjoy and take pleasure from.
I also think their first time together should have been more sensible and sexy, it’s wasn’t very exciting.
Her asshole ex didn’t suffered enough he acted like a total piece of shit, a coward. Knox, the hero is the one who did everything to help her while her boyfriend who a few hours before had said he loved her left her alone apparently drunk at the party taking another girl with him.
I wish there was a few more chapters of them together before the ending
So why couldn’t she had sex with her boyfriend? Apparently she was celibate after meeting him but he was not, she was dating his best friend but why is that he can fuck other but she was not fucking the guy she was dating?
I think he is celibate since the “party night” but I am not sure
Although she is not a virgin I wish she had more experience because she saw him with three girls, he feels ashamed when she told him that but she is the one who purposely went to see him with others after the first time, she wasn’t jealous BUT why is that necessary? It’s disgusting that a teenager is having sex with girls without looking at them at school grounds!!!! This shit is not realistic authors please stop that, a guy can play around at a safe place where he is not exposed and neither are the girls. A book about rape disregarding the risks of engage in public sex especially to us women is not very good. Revenge porn/being filmed without consent is a thing and it ruins lives, also what are these high school girls with so low self respect and stream that they have sex with a guy under his “only fuck from beside” shit?! It’s okay for them to have just as much sex and fun doing jt as the guys but why the women are always the ones accepting the guys conditions during sex? It’s degrading to high school girls and to women in general. So the hero doesn’t want them looking at him and that’s okay because he is troubled? This is not casual sex, this is treating a women as a brainless hole for him to enjoy and take pleasure from.
I also think their first time together should have been more sensible and sexy, it’s wasn’t very exciting.
Her asshole ex didn’t suffered enough he acted like a total piece of shit, a coward. Knox, the hero is the one who did everything to help her while her boyfriend who a few hours before had said he loved her left her alone apparently drunk at the party taking another girl with him.
I wish there was a few more chapters of them together before the ending
So why couldn’t she had sex with her boyfriend? Apparently she was celibate after meeting him but he was not, she was dating his best friend but why is that he can fuck other but she was not fucking the guy she was dating?
April 28, 2021
I loved Cold & Evil 🥰 and Tulip 💜. What a heart tugging story!! ❤️
“I need you with me, Tulip. I let you walk away. I could have chased after you and begged you to come back, but I stuffed everything down and carried on for my family, to get our shit straight, and we did. But there’s no more going slow with me. No more distance. No more time to breathe. It’s our time. Us.”
“Dear Ava, today is the beginning of anything you want,” he says in my ear.
I clutch his shoulders. “You. Always you.”
Synopsis:
- ”The moon is full and bright, illuminating the high pine trees towering over me, their branches rustling as the wind blows, like ghostly hands rubbing their fingers together. Watching the slow, creepy movement reminds me of a horrid Grimm fairytale where a young girl ventures out into the enchanted forest to pick flowers, only to be gobbled up by a monster.”
This was the start of the story and the imagery pulled me straight in, and honestly it was a scary and heartbreaking place to start. Ava.....struggling to remember what happened, only to realize she had been raped. 😢💔
A year later Ava is back at Camden Prep to complete her senior year. Everyone hates her and calls her a snitch because she went to the police after the rape and identified the kids at the party. However, a note found at the bottom of her locker on the first day seems to indicate she might have an ally in the midst of the enemy battlefield.
In her final year at Camden she is determined not to let these rich snobs derail her from completing school and achieving her goals.
- ”Steel yourself,” I whisper. “Beyond these doors lie hellhounds and vampires.” I smirk. If only they really were. I’d pull out a stake and end them like Buffy. Sadly, they are only human, and I cannot stab them.”
- “I came back for vengeance, to show all of you that nothing in this goddamn world will ever hold me back from finding out who hurt me. I’m Ava Tulip Harris and no one hurts me, but this place, this place, I had to come back and show you all that I’m worth more than what someone did to me in the woods.”
My Thoughts: The following are my thoughts about this book:
General:
- Trigger warning: Rape. Mostly off page although the heroine talks about a few details
- Setting: Sugarwood, TN
Characters:
Knox (aka Cold and Evil) (high school senior):
* The following words/phrases were used to describe Knox: The devil, Hades, intimidating, scrutinizes people, cold, asshole, douchebag, Lonely, empty, wears a mask, has a wall around him, lost in guilt and shame, kind, quiet, unsure, exhausted., a stoic loner, worthy, kind, wonderful, beautiful, supportive
* Something to know about Knox:
- Knox has a twin named Dane who he is extremely close to. His dad is a real estate millionaire, his mom (who was assaulted and never really recovered from that) took her life when Knox was twelve. This family has struggled to cope since the loss of their mother. They love each other, but their actions sometimes don’t show it.
- Knox has a long scar on his face that runs from his forehead to his lips (the source of it is heartbreaking).
- Knox attends Camden Prep, is the star quarterback and is head of ��The Sharks” (the group that “rules” the school).
* A quote about Knox:
- “You don’t know the shit he’s been through. He acts like it doesn’t bother him, holds it in so tight I’m afraid he’s going to crack someday, but he’s got a heart.”
Ava (aka Tulip) (high school senior):
* The following words/phrases were used to describe Ava: strong, brave, smart, fierce, defiant, charity case, mouthy, assertive, devastatingly beautiful, broken, bright star, tough-girl exterior, incredible, sweet, badass, sexy as fuck, determined, lost, tired, independent
* Something to know about Ava:
- She grew up with an alcoholic, drug-addicted mom. She has a 6 year old brother (Tyler) who has some development challenges due to being born with fetal alcohol syndrome. Ava loves and adores her brother, has basically cared for him all her life and will do anything to make his life better.
- Ava is a hard worker (school and jobs) and attends Camden Prep (the bane of her existence) due to a scholarship. Her goal is to attend Vanderbilt and ultimately become a doctor.
* Some quotes about Ava:
- ”I’ve sat in homeless shelters. I’ve watched Mama shoot needles in her arms, in between her toes, wherever she could to get that high. I’ve watched her suck down a bottle of vodka for breakfast. These rich kids are toddlers compared to me.”
- “It might seem silly to want something so simple, but for a girl like me—one who’s never had big things—it’s the little things that take up room in my heart: soft rain, starry nights, shy looks, leaves falling, a good movie, Tyler’s smile, chocolate cake—and a date with your guy.”
Story Thoughts:
- Knox and Dane together....be still my heart. 💕These brothers love each other so much and my heart hurt for their sadness, but I adored their closeness
- A guy who plays piano.....nothing sexier for me. 🥰🎹🎼
- Although there was some heavy subject matter, there were a lot of uplifting aspects to the story so I didn’t get bogged down in depressing feelings
- Although this sounds like it might be a bully story, it’s not. Yes there are some crappy people at the high school, but on the whole this is about finding answers, building up and supporting those you care about and learning to heal
- I liked the qualities of the H & h. They were both genuine and kind at the core and it made it really easy to root for them.
- These two had been through some serious crap and it made them seem so much more mature than other high schoolish books. There was great character growth for both
- Knox’s father.... He genuinely cared for his son and genuinely wanted to help Ava. He was a good dad I liked that he was portrayed that way ”Just let him breathe. Let yourself breathe. Come back when the timing is right.”
- The time apart....
”I need my own space to grow and live and forget about this town, and I need to let him go so he can do the same.” .......Gah 💔..... ”I love you, so much that I’d do anything, even if it means saying goodbye. You need some room to breathe. Just, someday in the future, find me. Just find me and come up to me and tell me you still love me and want me and can’t live without me in your arms—” 💔.
I usually hate it when this happens, but they both recognized they needed to grow as individuals before they could grow as a couple so I bought into the reasons for the separation. And then when they reunited....Gah, Gah❤️❤️. Oh my heart. They worked hard for their HEA and deserved every ounce of joy
”Sometimes when people don’t speak, they say everything, don’t they?”
“Scars serve as medals of honor, and the strongest hearts have the most.“
Overview:
- POV: Dual POV
- H likable? Yes. Knox was hard to figure out in the beginning. Once all his greatness was unlocked he was a beautiful character. ❤️
- h likable? Yes. I loved her!! So strong and fierce. What a fighter!!❤️
- h virgin? No
- First time they kiss: 50%
- First time they sleep together: 66%
- First time they say I Love You 83%
- Steamy 🔥 ? There is descriptive sex but it wasn’t the focal point of the story
- OW/OM drama? Not really. Ava’s ex is around but he has no shot of a second chance with her anymore.
- H/h cheat? No
- Time apart? Yes. Almost 2 years
- Did I skip pages? No
- Big secrets? Not really.
- Did I cry? I got a little emotional and a little tear slipped down my cheek
- Did I laugh? I smiled a few times. Tyler (6) adds some cuteness
- Did I swoon 🥰? Knox is definitely swoonworthy!!
- Cliffhanger? No
- HEA? Yes. So good ❤️
- Epilogue? epilogue 1: 4 years later. Epilogue 2: 4 years after epilogue 1
- Recommend? Yes. It mostly takes place in high school, which is not my thing. But the underlying story of the Phoenix rising out of the ashes is beautiful.
Quotes
“No matter the road you take, it doesn’t matter if it’s beautiful or ugly, hard or smooth, paved or pitted with ruts—it’s your road to take. What matters is how it ends.”
“The air around me practically bristles with tension. If I were a wicked witch, I’d cackle right now.”
“Who’d love the king of the underworld?”
“The right person.”
“An unforgiving heart is like rat poison to the one who holds it.”
“Stay with me. I’m giving you my heart. I’m giving you everything.”
“Phoenix.” I turn to the side and let him see the orange creature rising up into the sky, red flames in its trail. I got it the summer after I left Camden. Every prick on my skin was a reminder of how far I came to where I am now. I lifted myself from the ashes and started anew.”
“I know we’re young on the outside, but inside, the heart knows when it sees its forever.”
That year I spent with him and Dane—I don’t regret one moment of it. We took a broken family and learned to heal.”
“Ava meets my gaze, bites her lip, and clasps my hand. Tyler puts his small hand in my other one. Dane takes Ava’s free hand, and Dad takes Tyler’s. We’re a family.”
“Our lines got a little blurry along the way, through broken hearts and time lost, but in the end, we made a full, complete, beautiful circle.”
“I need you with me, Tulip. I let you walk away. I could have chased after you and begged you to come back, but I stuffed everything down and carried on for my family, to get our shit straight, and we did. But there’s no more going slow with me. No more distance. No more time to breathe. It’s our time. Us.”
“Dear Ava, today is the beginning of anything you want,” he says in my ear.
I clutch his shoulders. “You. Always you.”
Synopsis:
- ”The moon is full and bright, illuminating the high pine trees towering over me, their branches rustling as the wind blows, like ghostly hands rubbing their fingers together. Watching the slow, creepy movement reminds me of a horrid Grimm fairytale where a young girl ventures out into the enchanted forest to pick flowers, only to be gobbled up by a monster.”
This was the start of the story and the imagery pulled me straight in, and honestly it was a scary and heartbreaking place to start. Ava.....struggling to remember what happened, only to realize she had been raped. 😢💔
A year later Ava is back at Camden Prep to complete her senior year. Everyone hates her and calls her a snitch because she went to the police after the rape and identified the kids at the party. However, a note found at the bottom of her locker on the first day seems to indicate she might have an ally in the midst of the enemy battlefield.
In her final year at Camden she is determined not to let these rich snobs derail her from completing school and achieving her goals.
- ”Steel yourself,” I whisper. “Beyond these doors lie hellhounds and vampires.” I smirk. If only they really were. I’d pull out a stake and end them like Buffy. Sadly, they are only human, and I cannot stab them.”
- “I came back for vengeance, to show all of you that nothing in this goddamn world will ever hold me back from finding out who hurt me. I’m Ava Tulip Harris and no one hurts me, but this place, this place, I had to come back and show you all that I’m worth more than what someone did to me in the woods.”
My Thoughts: The following are my thoughts about this book:
General:
- Trigger warning: Rape. Mostly off page although the heroine talks about a few details
- Setting: Sugarwood, TN
Characters:
Knox (aka Cold and Evil) (high school senior):
* The following words/phrases were used to describe Knox: The devil, Hades, intimidating, scrutinizes people, cold, asshole, douchebag, Lonely, empty, wears a mask, has a wall around him, lost in guilt and shame, kind, quiet, unsure, exhausted., a stoic loner, worthy, kind, wonderful, beautiful, supportive
* Something to know about Knox:
- Knox has a twin named Dane who he is extremely close to. His dad is a real estate millionaire, his mom (who was assaulted and never really recovered from that) took her life when Knox was twelve. This family has struggled to cope since the loss of their mother. They love each other, but their actions sometimes don’t show it.
- Knox has a long scar on his face that runs from his forehead to his lips (the source of it is heartbreaking).
- Knox attends Camden Prep, is the star quarterback and is head of ��The Sharks” (the group that “rules” the school).
* A quote about Knox:
- “You don’t know the shit he’s been through. He acts like it doesn’t bother him, holds it in so tight I’m afraid he’s going to crack someday, but he’s got a heart.”
Ava (aka Tulip) (high school senior):
* The following words/phrases were used to describe Ava: strong, brave, smart, fierce, defiant, charity case, mouthy, assertive, devastatingly beautiful, broken, bright star, tough-girl exterior, incredible, sweet, badass, sexy as fuck, determined, lost, tired, independent
* Something to know about Ava:
- She grew up with an alcoholic, drug-addicted mom. She has a 6 year old brother (Tyler) who has some development challenges due to being born with fetal alcohol syndrome. Ava loves and adores her brother, has basically cared for him all her life and will do anything to make his life better.
- Ava is a hard worker (school and jobs) and attends Camden Prep (the bane of her existence) due to a scholarship. Her goal is to attend Vanderbilt and ultimately become a doctor.
* Some quotes about Ava:
- ”I’ve sat in homeless shelters. I’ve watched Mama shoot needles in her arms, in between her toes, wherever she could to get that high. I’ve watched her suck down a bottle of vodka for breakfast. These rich kids are toddlers compared to me.”
- “It might seem silly to want something so simple, but for a girl like me—one who’s never had big things—it’s the little things that take up room in my heart: soft rain, starry nights, shy looks, leaves falling, a good movie, Tyler’s smile, chocolate cake—and a date with your guy.”
Story Thoughts:
- Knox and Dane together....be still my heart. 💕These brothers love each other so much and my heart hurt for their sadness, but I adored their closeness
- A guy who plays piano.....nothing sexier for me. 🥰🎹🎼
- Although there was some heavy subject matter, there were a lot of uplifting aspects to the story so I didn’t get bogged down in depressing feelings
- Although this sounds like it might be a bully story, it’s not. Yes there are some crappy people at the high school, but on the whole this is about finding answers, building up and supporting those you care about and learning to heal
- I liked the qualities of the H & h. They were both genuine and kind at the core and it made it really easy to root for them.
- These two had been through some serious crap and it made them seem so much more mature than other high schoolish books. There was great character growth for both
- Knox’s father.... He genuinely cared for his son and genuinely wanted to help Ava. He was a good dad I liked that he was portrayed that way ”Just let him breathe. Let yourself breathe. Come back when the timing is right.”
- The time apart....
”I need my own space to grow and live and forget about this town, and I need to let him go so he can do the same.” .......Gah 💔..... ”I love you, so much that I’d do anything, even if it means saying goodbye. You need some room to breathe. Just, someday in the future, find me. Just find me and come up to me and tell me you still love me and want me and can’t live without me in your arms—” 💔.
I usually hate it when this happens, but they both recognized they needed to grow as individuals before they could grow as a couple so I bought into the reasons for the separation. And then when they reunited....Gah, Gah❤️❤️. Oh my heart. They worked hard for their HEA and deserved every ounce of joy
”Sometimes when people don’t speak, they say everything, don’t they?”
“Scars serve as medals of honor, and the strongest hearts have the most.“
Overview:
- POV: Dual POV
- H likable? Yes. Knox was hard to figure out in the beginning. Once all his greatness was unlocked he was a beautiful character. ❤️
- h likable? Yes. I loved her!! So strong and fierce. What a fighter!!❤️
- h virgin? No
- First time they kiss: 50%
- First time they sleep together: 66%
- First time they say I Love You 83%
- Steamy 🔥 ? There is descriptive sex but it wasn’t the focal point of the story
- OW/OM drama? Not really. Ava’s ex is around but he has no shot of a second chance with her anymore.
- H/h cheat? No
- Time apart? Yes. Almost 2 years
- Did I skip pages? No
- Big secrets? Not really.
- Did I cry? I got a little emotional and a little tear slipped down my cheek
- Did I laugh? I smiled a few times. Tyler (6) adds some cuteness
- Did I swoon 🥰? Knox is definitely swoonworthy!!
- Cliffhanger? No
- HEA? Yes. So good ❤️
- Epilogue? epilogue 1: 4 years later. Epilogue 2: 4 years after epilogue 1
- Recommend? Yes. It mostly takes place in high school, which is not my thing. But the underlying story of the Phoenix rising out of the ashes is beautiful.
Quotes
“No matter the road you take, it doesn’t matter if it’s beautiful or ugly, hard or smooth, paved or pitted with ruts—it’s your road to take. What matters is how it ends.”
“The air around me practically bristles with tension. If I were a wicked witch, I’d cackle right now.”
“Who’d love the king of the underworld?”
“The right person.”
“An unforgiving heart is like rat poison to the one who holds it.”
“Stay with me. I’m giving you my heart. I’m giving you everything.”
“Phoenix.” I turn to the side and let him see the orange creature rising up into the sky, red flames in its trail. I got it the summer after I left Camden. Every prick on my skin was a reminder of how far I came to where I am now. I lifted myself from the ashes and started anew.”
“I know we’re young on the outside, but inside, the heart knows when it sees its forever.”
That year I spent with him and Dane—I don’t regret one moment of it. We took a broken family and learned to heal.”
“Ava meets my gaze, bites her lip, and clasps my hand. Tyler puts his small hand in my other one. Dane takes Ava’s free hand, and Dad takes Tyler’s. We’re a family.”
“Our lines got a little blurry along the way, through broken hearts and time lost, but in the end, we made a full, complete, beautiful circle.”
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