1. This was your face when you heard the alarm clock this morning: pure horror.
2. You're having flashbacks of the evening before. Did you climb on top of the bar last night? Why are your knees hurting? And then you remember. And you have to cover your face so your co-workers can't see your shame. You look up at the clock. Eight more hours to go. Have any of us done anything bad enough to deserve 8am with a hangover? We don't think so.
3. Тry to remember how to do your job. You're pretty sure it involves the computer in front of you but you're finding it hard to care. You have a password, right? Focusing is harder than usual. Has the computer screen always been this bright? Those fluorescent lights were surely made by the devil. If they don't stop flickering like that you're going to be sick. Maybe if you close your eyes it will all go away and you'll find yourself back in your soft, warm bed.
4. You walk into work like this. Hopefully no one will notice. Just take lots of break. Lean on the back wall of the elevator. Pretend you're examining the office ficus. No time to stop and talk to co-workers. You don't want them to smell your breath anyway. Just keep your head down. If you're lucky, you'll make it all the way to your desk.
5. This is how you respond whenever anyone asks you to do anything. Especially if that anything has something to do with your job. You can't work today. You're not even really awake. You're definitely not functioning. You'd explain that to your boss but you really need that raise. Maybe if you just stop responding to his requests. That should work. All you need is a little time to recuperate. Twelve or so hours should do it.


